Guest Post: First Step out of Fear

My first blog entry for Faith Imagined (which used to be called A Writer’s Peace) was July 23, 2006. I had absolutely no idea why God wanted me to start a blog for my writing. I started a personal blog to capture family memories several months before, and I couldn’t fathom maintaining two of them. I sat in front of my computer staring at the blog post entry, wondering, “What the heck am I supposed to write about?”

Finally, I decided to open the Bible and write about the first verse my eyes picked out. The vision of Faith Imagined started with a tiny seed found in the promise of the following verse: “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still’” (Exodus 14: 13-14).

Here is how I began my post:

I’m afraid a lot. I fear that my book will be rejected. I fear that my ministry will fail. I fear that I don’t know enough of the Bible. I fear that I will never fulfill my purpose. I fear that I don’t have enough time to achieve my goals. I fear of being judged not Christian enough.

Like many Christians, I started my ministry in fear. I could see the plan that God had for my life, but I lacked any ability to achieve it. I was unqualified, timid, unworthy and fearful. I took an objective look at my life and compared it with what God had in mind, and I saw a huge gap. In my ignorance, I saw only impossibilities, but I didn’t know how to account for God’s grace (2 Corinthians 9.8) or for His work in my life (Philippians 1.6).

I wrote consistently for three years without any followers and with very few comments. If I did receive a comment, it was usually from my twin sister encouraging me as she always does. I kept at it each week, though, not understanding the reason for my obedience. I didn’t have a voice, and I didn’t have a purpose. I was merely being obedient to God’s will, and I never sought understanding.

Three years later after consistent (albeit pathetic) writing, my twin sister, Crissy, said she would like to help me with my writing ministry. She had been teaching herself how to blog design, and she wanted to give mine a facelift. We changed the name of the blog to Faith Imagined, which was the name of a Christian writing ministry we had agreed on years earlier.

After we changed the blog, Crissy started helping me market it. When she came along side of me, something in my blog writing clicked. I realize now that God had aligned all of the perfect elements for just the right time. During my season of “desert writing,” I had been deeply involved in women’s ministry. I also began to disciple other women. God had been doing a good work in me, even though I never noticed it.

God had been doing a good work in Crissy, as well. He moved her away from all her family and friends. She resigned from her job as a social worker in order to raise her children fulltime. She was isolated in a new city and in need of something to do after the kids went to bed. So, she began to teach herself how to design blogs. Then, she began to teach herself how to market them. I am proud to say that I was her guinea pig.

One truth I learned through the past four years is that we can’t rush God’s design. He has an agenda, and He is working His perfect will in our lives. Many times I tried to get the ball rolling on my own, and I was always left frustrated and discouraged. I’ve learned to trust that God will accomplish His will at just the right time; and when He does, everything will smoothly fall into place.

The other truth I learned is that we can’t let fear dictate our lives. Fear is nothing but a lack of faith in God. I feared many things because I didn’t trust that God could accomplish them. In all honesty, I really didn’t know better. I was ignorant to God’s character because I hadn’t spent enough time with Him or in His Word. When my relationship with God became my heart’s desire, I discovered that God has only the best for me; and I began to trust His voice and stay obedient to His hand.

I’m excited about what God has done in Crissy’s and my life thus far, but I can’t wait to see what else He does. I’m not worried or anxious about tomorrow because I decided to make an effort to enjoy each day. God’s understanding is beyond mine, and His ways are above comprehension. If I can keep my focus on His face and keep in step with His direction, I have nothing to fear.

You can also read this at Annointed Beauty Ministries here!